Has anyone else noticed a sudden decline in the quality of writing
in the journalism segment of the Mac Web? This isn't just limited to
the quality, but also the quantity of new articles. Most likely this is
connected to the eSlump - with banner ads paying almost nothing, most
sites have announced cuts for their journalists.
The biggest topics across most of the Mac sites are economic ones.
These are focussing primarily on the concept of micropayments. Here is where
jalapeños come into play.
Ask college students how they feel about the demise of Napster, and
they'll whine about the injustice of the record industry. About how
it's unfair that the record industry is allowed to take advantage of
musicians but they aren't.
Let's face it, Napster has taught the youth of this country that
it's okay to steal from the poor. Whatever people want to say, Napster
is all about theft.
Would your average Napster user go out and steal a couple
jalapeños if they were hungry? Doubtful, but they'll sure grab a
few tracks for free when they're bored.
Enter our concept of micropayments. Lets pretend everyone gets a few
jalapeños to keep them from starving. People would obviously
rather have music than eat food. That way they can still claim all
sorts of hardships and benefits from other sources. So they pay one
jalapeño for every track they download from an RIAA sanctioned
merchant. This is a pretty common scenario that most people have
suggested. If someone wants more jalapeños, they can go out and
buy more. Everyone thinks this is a pretty nifty idea. What most people
fail to look at is the type of people that like their
jalapeños.
Enter the college students. College students are among the most
clever and inventive people around when it comes to jalapeños. I
mean this in a dark and insidious manner. They are the prime users of
jalapeños, and those that use something a lot start to
understand it. Some college students will discover a way to grow their
own jalapeños that are indistinguishable from the RIAA's
jalapeños. They'll start giving them to their friends and
selling them at a cheaper price. Congratulations America, you are
counterfeiting a fruit.
People will be content for a while. The RIAA will be getting their
jalapeños from the fair and honest citizens of, well, whatever
country has fair and honest citizens. Meanwhile the college students
will be paying next to nothing for cheap jalapeños, and a few
inventive students have found a way to make their tuition payments.
Heres where these jalapeño jockeys start to screw themselves
over. We will naturally have two groups of jalapeño
counterfeiters - those who want to trade stocks openly for fake
jalapeños and those who think jalapeños should be free to
the world. The first group uses Windows, the second uses Linux. These
groups will be known as Jalapeñoster and GNUpeño.
Now with Jalapeñoster being traded on Wall Street, the
jalapeño industry gets upset. They start a lawsuit against
Jalapeñoster. With some resentment, people try to switch the
GNUpeño, but with some difficulty. Jalapeñoster reaches a
court settlement allowing them to trade ball bearings for
jalapeños, and the cycle starts over. The end result? On the up
side, ingenuity by college students is rewarded. In addition, America
finds that it requires more lawyers, and we once again teach our youth
that it is okay to steal as long as its over the Internet.
As for Mac users? We've been using Hotline for years and have a
steady stream of illegal software, music, jalapeños, and ball
bearings. As we sit back and laugh at some people trading llamas for
screwdrivers for oak trees for bicycles for ball bearings for
jalapeños, we have a tough decision to make - shall we buy what
we want, take what we want, or concentrate on our law degree?
Andrew W. Hill (a.k.a. Aqua) has been using Macintosh computers since
1987 and maintains that the
Mac
SE is the perfect Macintosh, superior to all - including the
Color Classic. He
is on the verge of being evicted from the family home due to its
infestation of Macs (last count: about 50). Andrew is attempting to pay
his way through college at UC Santa Cruz with freelance web design and
Mac tech support.
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